I'm not saying that this is the way it MUST be, you can choose not to follow this if you don't want to, this is just MY summary of how love should go, it's totally up to you, so don't make harsh comments if you hate/don't think it's right, they'll be deleted if you do.
Everyone has their own opinion on things, and what I'm mentioning below is not universal, just MY SUMMARY
(note: the whole thing was taken out from my group on facebook, so please ignore some of the words related to "giving your ideas")
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MY SUMMARY就很好奇的你们, 为什么有“性交，亲密”和“爱”？它们有什么关系的？ 分别又是什么? 什么应该被做？什么又不应该被做？我会在接下来解释。
爱:
有趣的,很多人都喜欢把爱看成“瞎”的，通常就是对彼此有很深动的感觉, 跟着自己的直觉和感觉, 他们都说, 深动的感觉就是所谓的“爱”.在简单的来说，他被称为 "情感依赖", 简单的来说就是, 你的感觉是依赖着别人, 不管是你喜欢的人", 还是你的“男朋友”。来换那个方式，我遇到了另一个角度来看. 也就是感觉没什么重要, 因为奸诈的感觉的游戏会导致伤痛和悲伤. 它通常跟着期望, 答应, 相信, 信心, 和亲密.
所以，我们来看看我的爱的角度有什么不同。 (我不是专家跟你说这些，所以如果我说的有什么问题，你被欢迎跟我说。) 从我看爱的角度，是多于结婚后。来挣开你的眼睛；
爱包括几样东西，我会把它们写下来:
-目的:
1)你的目的是寻找结婚的可能性。寻找罢了，所以即使不成功，也没必要伤心。
2)你在寻找对方的缺点和真实的它们, 你可以接受到他们的缺点，可以过一身跟他们的缺点吗? 你可以接受他们的错吗过后原谅她们如果他们做错吗?如果吵架了，你们可以把你们的感情补好吗？ 你可以把东西处理得好如果你们两个吵架吗？ 就算吵架了代表需要分离吗？ 还是你们两个可以冷静下来把东西慢慢的解决？
-相信:
1)神:
->相信神多过你相信你的对象，因为只有它知道最后跟你的会是谁。
2)在你的对象:
->如果你一直要固执的不信, 连你的对象都会不喜欢或许讨厌你。
-原谅:
->你能不能真正的原谅你的对象如果他真的做了很伤你心的事就算他不是故意的作的？
问题: 什么是真正的原谅?
A:要原谅一个人，你得学会放弃和接受. 放下一个人的过错, 和接受那个为过去了的事. "我原谅你",说那个过后记得心要跟着那些字,不要用对方的过错来守护自己如果真的吵架了,过去了就是过去了，就使消失了,留他为上关着的书本.
-不要期望
->生活不是有期望才有趣吗? 为何不要期望?
"有福的是没去期望的他，因为他决不会失望。"
~Attributed to both Jonathan Swift and Benjamin Franklin
明白了吗? 如果我们怎么期望: "我们会永远在一起，我们会结婚。" 我们感到困惑和悲伤和失望，如果那些希望没有成真. 所以, 别后悔! 至少你尝试过一起是为婚姻的可能性搜索了!
-不要答应
->为什么不呢？ 女生喜欢男生给她们确定她们在安全的范围里。 但问题是，万一这个家伙未能做到他答应的？ 不要做承诺当你无法控制的事情。因为我们无法控制发生在生活中的事情， 所以, 即使爱一个人或须跟一个人在一起, 我们都不能说“我们会永远在一起”.如果你不想伤心, 请, 不要做答应. 答应最后也可能会变成虚假的谎言。
-避免使用“永远”，“永远”，“从不”
->他们的意思不是很好吗? 为何不能说?
~很简单，如上所述，我们无法控制的事情，我们甚至不知道如果我们的关系将会是不是永远. 如果我们不使用这些话，我们不会失望。
-避免做出亲密的动作
->避免这些: 性交, 触摸私人部分, 拥抱, 接吻.
原因: 你不能保证你们的关系会师永远的, 你可能会与另一个家伙在一起在将来, 谁知道? 避免那些动作, 因为你可能会给下一个对象一个很难听的故事。 你应该不会要下一个对象跟你说, "我跟另一个男生上过床！", 对不对?
-负责人，和结婚的可能性
->请记住，爱是寻找的责任，并为责任的准备。你在寻找着是否你的对象肯队将发生的事负起责任,一个举例就是, 开始一个家庭，付起家里的费用。 那就是其中一个爱情里的最重要的东西,寻找是否你的对象肯负责人.
-省着性交和亲密给结婚后
->拥抱和结婚 -- 不要!不过为何？就像之前所说的，因为你不要给下一个对象有很难听的故事，所以省着吧！ :P
总之，爱是一个搜索。
->你是根据你的态度建立和搜索如果该人是正确的。 所以, 你不必伤心如果真的断恋了,因为你知道，有一个问题你解决不了，不是一种情感你不能处理。 不要期望，就不会失望了 。:D
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现在来一个性交和亲密的。
什么是情交? 和亲密? 它们跟爱有什么关系的？?
真实的说, 那两个应该是一起的给结婚过后, 就因为如此就双方不会在结婚前失去什么. 它们其实是功劳的获得，就是负责人了，你就可以得到那两个为奖赏。当你作好了你的责任为男朋友，过后一个老公，过后一个爸爸. 那两个就是你的礼物，庆祝吧. :P
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要好好的结束这个, 我真的很希望我这个可以帮到很多人还有有足够的真相. 不过你也可以跟我说如果要加什么，或许改什么。 恋爱就是要学关于对方,所以即使你的感情结束了, 不必伤心! 因为你学了更多! 如果你有什么要添加或许更改或要说出来，即使是要私人的跟我说，你可以pm我，我会很开心的开通你!高兴的谈恋爱吧!
Yours truly, KangHo.
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English Version:
As curious as you all are, why are there three icons, sex, intimacy and love? What is the connection? What is the difference? What should be done? What should not be done? I'll explain in details in the following text, carefully understand them, I'll provide a translation.
Love:
Interestingly, many people prefer to see "love" as "blind" and it usually depends on liking someone else, going by instincts and feelings, they say, deep feelings is what people usually call "love". In simple terms, we call it "emotional dependence", which simply means, your emotions are dependent on the person you are into, or "your crush", or even, "your boyfriend". To change that fact, I have come to the point where I met another perspective of L.O.V.E.. Where I found out that feelings didn't really matter, and submerging yourself into those tricky heart games can easily lead you to depression and self-hurting. It usually comes in a package with expectations, promises, trust, confidence, and intimacy.
So, let's see what's so different about what I know about love. (I am not a professional saying this, but I hope this helps open your eyes, and if I get some points incorrect, feel free to let me know, my doors are opened.) From where I see love, it's more to the point "after marriage". In order to remove your blindfold;
Love comprises of a few things, I will name them:
-Objective:
1)Your goal is marriage, you are seeking the possibility of marriage. Though, if it doesn't happen, it's okay, at least you've tried to seek for it.
2)You are looking for their true self, can you live with their imperfections? Could you accept their wrongs and be able to forgive them if they ever do wrong? Can you work things out when things go wrong and when you fight? Does fighting mean you need to break up? Or can it be fixed if you two just calm down and start solving problems?
-Trust:
1)In God:
->Have stronger faith in God than in your partner, only he knows who'll be yours.
2)In Your Partner:
->Obviously if you are being sceptical, even your partner will start to doubt or dislike you.
-Forgiveness:
->Are you able to forgive your partner if he or she did something that hurts you badly? Even if he or she did not do it on purpose?
Q: What is true forgiveness?
A: To forgive someone, it takes letting go and acceptance. Letting go of the past mistakes, and accepting that those mistakes are gone. "I forgive you", say that and be sure your heart follows, do not use someone's past mistakes to defend yourself when you are in an argument, what has gone, is gone, leave it as a closed book.
-Put no expectations
->Shouldn't life be wonderful with all the expectations we have? Why not expect?
"Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed." ~Attributed to both Jonathan Swift and Benjamin Franklin
Get it know? When we put expectations: "We will be together forever, and we will marry." We get confused and sad and disappointed if that wish doesn't come true. So, don't regret! At least you've tried being together to search for the possibility of marriage!
-Make no promises
->Why not? Girls like guys to let them be assured that they're in the safety zone. But the question is, what if the guy fails to do what he promised? Do not promise when you cannot control things. We cannot control things that happen in life, therefore, not even in loving someone or being with someone, we can say "I will love you forever". If you don't wanna get upset, please, no promises. They usually turn out into lies anyway.
-Avoid using "forever", "always", "never"
->Don't they give very nice meanings? Why can't we?
~Very simple, as mentioned above, we cannot control things, we won't even know if our relationship will be forever. If we don't use those words, we won't get disappointed.
-Avoid doing intimate actions
->Avoid doing the following: sex, touching inappropriate parts of the body, hugging, kissing.
Reason: You cannot guarantee that the relationship that you are in right now will be permanent, you might be with another guy or girl in the future, who knows? And avoid doing those actions, because they might create a "hard to listen to" or "very horrible" story for the next person you are about to be with. You wouldn't want your next partner to listen to you say, "Oh I've been on bed with another guy!", right?
-Commitment, and the possibility of marriage
->Right. Remember that, love is searching for commitment and being ready for commitment. You are looking if your partner is ready to live a life with you and be ready to be responsible of what is going to happen, in example, start a family, supply money for the house, and all that. And that's one of the most important things before you start marriage, searching if your partner is ready for responsibilities of marriage.
-Reserve sex and intimacy after marriage
->Hugging, kissing -- NO! But why not? As mentioned earlier, you don't want to create a "hard to listen to" tale for your next partner, so save it. :P
In conclusion, love is a search.
->You are building upon your attitude and searching if that person is the right one. Hence, you need not be discouraged if you DO break up, because all you know is that there is a problem you cannot solve, not an emotion that you cannot handle. Expect not, and you shall never be disappointed. :D
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Time to talk about Sex and Intimacy.
What exactly is Sex? And Intimacy? How do they relate to love?
Truly speaking, those two should be reserved as a package AFTER marriage, so that no one loses anything before marriage. They are actually rewards for commitment. Once you have committed to your role, being a boyfriend, then a husband, then a father. Those are your rewards, celebrate it. :P
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To end this nicely, I truly hope that the information that I wrote was good enough and have enough of justice. Anyway, feel free to add on for me if you would like, and correct me if I am wrong. Relationship is about learning about each other, so if your relationship ever does end, be happy! You've learned more! If you have any questions, suggestions, objections, you are welcome to voice out, you can even personally contact me if you would like to privately speak! Have a happy courtship!
Yours truly, KangHo.
The main idea is that your trust should be greater in God than in your partner.Love is not about seeking for a perfect partner, but accepting the current one as he or she is.---
From: The Bible1 Corinthians 13
Love
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Chinese version:
歌 林 多 前 書 13
1 我 若 能 说 万 人 的 方 言 ， 并 天 使 的 话 语 ， 却 没 有 爱 ， 我 就 成 了 鸣 的 锣 ， 响 的 钹 一 般 。
2 我 若 有 先 知 讲 道 之 能 ， 也 明 白 各 样 的 奥 秘 ， 各 样 的 知 识 ， 而 且 有 全 备 的 信 ， 叫 我 能 够 移 山 ， 却 没 有 爱 ， 我 就 算 不 得 甚 麽 。
3 我 若 将 所 有 的 周 济 穷 人 ， 又 舍 己 身 叫 人 焚 烧 ， 却 没 有 爱 ， 仍 然 与 我 无 益 。
4 爱 是 恒 久 忍 耐 ， 又 有 恩 慈 ； 爱 是 不 嫉 妒 ； 爱 是 不 自 夸 ， 不 张 狂 ，
5 不 做 害 羞 的 事 ， 不 求 自 己 的 益 处 ， 不 轻 易 发 怒 ， 不 计 算 人 的 恶 ，
6 不 喜 欢 不 义 ， 只 喜 欢 真 理 ；
7 凡 事 包 容 ， 凡 事 相 信 ， 凡 事 盼 望 ， 凡 事 忍 耐 。
8 爱 是 永 不 止 息 。 先 知 讲 道 之 能 终 必 归 於 无 有 ； 说 方 言 之 能 终 必 停 止 ； 知 识 也 终 必 归 於 无 有 。
9 我 们 现 在 所 知 道 的 有 限 ， 先 知 所 讲 的 也 有 限 ，
10 等 那 完 全 的 来 到 ， 这 有 限 的 必 归 於 无 有 了 。
11 我 作 孩 子 的 时 候 ， 话 语 像 孩 子 ， 心 思 像 孩 子 ， 意 念 像 孩 子 ， 既 成 了 人 ， 就 把 孩 子 的 事 丢 弃 了 。
12 我 们 如 今 彷 佛 对 着 镜 子 观 看 ， ? 糊 不 清 （ 原 文 作 ： 如 同 猜 谜 ） ； 到 那 时 就 要 面 对 面了 。 我 如 今 所 知 道 的 有 限 ， 到 那 时 就 全 知 道 ， 如 同 主 知 道 我 一 样 。
13 如 今 常 存 的 有 信 ， 有 望 ， 有 爱 这 三 样 ， 其 中 最 大 的 是 爱 。
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